They jokes
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Why do orphans play GTA?
They want to be wanted.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
They are hairy.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.