They jokes
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.