They jokes
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.