They jokes

How are giants and strippers alike?

They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

  • 1

    • Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

  • 2

    • What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

    They become in-bread.

    What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

    They don't have a home to get their guns.

    I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

    Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

    They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.

    Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

  • 1

    • Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

    Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

    Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

    Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

    Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

    Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

    Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

    Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • 2

    • It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.

    There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

    What do TVs and girls have in common?

    They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

  • 8

    • Why do tables never need wheelchairs?

    Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

    I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!