They jokes
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.