They jokes
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.