They jokes
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.