Thereness jokes
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There is nothing gayer than butt slapping the ass at Hooters.
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma dik fit in your mouth.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.