Thereness jokes
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your Boyfriend.
Your Boyfriend who?
Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye!
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!