Thereness jokes
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.