Thereness jokes
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.