Thereness jokes
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.