Thereness jokes
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Hello there, have a good day!
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!