Thereness jokes
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...