There jokes
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
There is no joke.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!