There jokes
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.