How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.