What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Them Jokes
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
