What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
