2 twins were talking in class, I threw a paper airplane at one of them
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why are they crying They said: Because I lost my parents I said: lets find them they cried harder so I walked out of the orphanage.
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me I can't remember where I buried them
My mates threw nuts at the wall now we call them walnuts
Hahaha :)
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
BlessedBrian, your secrets are safe with ME... because I wasn’t LISTENING when you told them
What's the difference between yo mama and German men? - the balls... German men don't have them.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
Roses are red violets are blue. I have five fingers two of them are for you.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common? I don’t care if they have either of them
