Them jokes
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.