Them jokes
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.