Them jokes
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Memes
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!