Them jokes
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.