Them jokes

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    • The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

    Twin

    • One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

    My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

    Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

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    • Terrorist

    • Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

    The terrorists both say, "A beer."

    The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

    One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

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    • Them memes

    Orphan

    • How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

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    • Gravity

    • You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

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    • Parent

    • My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

    Dream

    • Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

    Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

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    • Piece

    • I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

    P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

    Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

    “They are all very tearable,” he replied.

    Well, there is one person who gets it!

    Flight

    • I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

    At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

    Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

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    • Child

    • My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

    If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

    Eternal Life

    • The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!

    Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.

    Lol, Surprise!

    Joke being on them.

    As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.

    Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!

    HELL!

    P.S. With a little extra punishments!

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