Them jokes
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.