Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Them Jokes
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
