What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What's the difference between and apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
lesbians when the GPS ask them to go straight
gay people when the GPS ask them to go straight
the reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant Middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!”, so I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
someone i know is an ant. i feel like a mountain to them.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Say I hate happiness without the H (all of them )
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
why dont orphans get dad jokes because they dont have a dad to tell them
