The jokes
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
The Twin Towers are just like genders.
There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive topic.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Memes
Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Why did the orphan go to a church?
So he could call someone "father."
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?
The dad did not come home with the milk.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.