The jokes
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? π€ͺ π
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Whatβs the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.