The jokes

Disaster

Twin Towers

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

Car

Slavery

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

Confusion

Blind

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Memes

Road

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Stroke

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Place

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

Similarity

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

Nun

Nun

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Swimsuit

Swimsuit

Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Meme

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

Word

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

Fly

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Santa

Santa

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

Wife

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

Porn

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

9/11 victim

Twin Towers

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

Nine

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.