The jokes
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
Memes
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.