The jokes
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.