The jokes
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, Iβll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
Memes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
"DΓ©jΓ moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Whatβs the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.