The jokes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Memes
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.