The jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.

What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!

How does Hellen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."

The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."

"Wait, wha..."

"What?"

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

The "f" in orphan is for family.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.