The jokes

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

Why do short people laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A: A battery has a positive side.

What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."

Yo mama so fat, she was the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."

Gf: "I luv u too."

Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."

Gf: "Ah, about that..."

What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

I like my women how I like my wine.

Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.