The jokes

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."

The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."

"Wait, wha..."

"What?"

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

The "f" in orphan is for family.

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.