The jokes
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Memes
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.