The jokes
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Memes
That's all is needed to complete my day
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?
Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.