The jokes
"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Memes
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
Look, it's the dead center of town!
Why did the orphan want to go to jail?
So he could have a home and be cared for with food.
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.