The jokes
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
Memes
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
What is green and blue?
Grass and the sky.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.