The jokes
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
What’s the length difference between your hairline and Saturn? Nothing.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.