The jokes
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Memes
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.