The jokes
Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...