The jokes

Swing

Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?

She had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Clown

Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Grinch

If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo

If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1

Moon

Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?

A: A Luna-Tic!

Mitosis

What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"

Chamber

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

Dick

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

Child

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

Noise

When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.

Bird

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

Hooker

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Mexican

Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

Day

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.

Present

We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.