The jokes
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. ππ
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Memes
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
"Bye bye guys, I'mma leave this shithole, but look at my post in the community tab."
[Link]
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddamn difference. Iβm just trying to look at/make jokes, and Iβm getting shit from people saying, βItβs too offensiveβ or something like goddam. Just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!