The jokes
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Memes
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I put the D in Children.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂