The jokes

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.

Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

How does the cheetah do in every race?

It’s always a cheetah.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?

He flew up!

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!