The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.