The People

The People jokes

Politics

    • A boy asks his father:

    "What is politics?"

    Father answers:

    "It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

    Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

    Our maid is the working class.

    Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

    The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

    Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

    The next day his father asks him:

    "So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

    The boy says:

    "Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

    Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

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    • Depression

    • I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

    I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

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    • The People memes

    Waiter

    • Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

    Survivor

    • This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

    Misunderstanding

    • Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

    Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

    Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

    So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

    Racist

    • America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

    White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

    The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

    1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

    Therapist

    • My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

    I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

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    • Reader

    • Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

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    • Sunburn

    • The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.

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    • Website

    • If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

    You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

    Ankle

    • What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?

    Their ankles.

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    • Competition

    • Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

    Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

    Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

    Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

    Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

    Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

    Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

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