That jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Hey guys, it's Gwen, and I want to say that I'm deleting my account regarding a comment made on my last post :(
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?
Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."