That jokes

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":

Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.