That jokes
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
What're the only things that never come out of a Chi Phi frat house?
A virgin and unsnorted ketamine.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.