Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
