That jokes
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Memes
They knew what they were doing
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.