That jokes

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":

Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭