That jokes

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.

Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

"Hey, is that a peach?"

*gets slapped on the butt*

"Noted."

My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.

A school bus full of children.

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.

What do you call a kid that lives alone?

An orphan. ;)

Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.