That jokes

I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.

"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

A: Carlos.

What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.

"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.