That jokes
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.