That jokes
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.
Your fay.
Well, you're the thing that sunk the Titanic.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Your hairline is so ugly, even Dora the Explorer can’t even do it.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.