That jokes
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Things said by racist aliens: "Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get the hell out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
Fine I'll soon turn this wasteland of a page into r/Admech and r/AdeptusMechanicus habitable sites by myself
What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth?
Human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
NASA = Not Africa North America. That's what NASA stands for.
Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.