That jokes
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.