That jokes

If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

Story done. Please like.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?

Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?

A sad caterpillar.

Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."