That jokes
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
My dick said that your ass is having a boner.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.